on all counts we are having a hard time.
J and i fought recently. one of only 2 times since our "divorce".
his schedule has changed. again. like his work promised it wouldnt.
our close family friends are moving 4 hours away. Miss Carrie was Judes nanny for awhile and their family is very close to Judes heart. it hurts me that he is going to say goodbye to someone so early on. i dont want him to feel missing.
J's car, my car, and my brothers car has gone on the fritz.
all wont start. and it hurts my heart. i long SO much to call jamie, just because for the past x amount of years we have been best friends, talking to each other during hard times, and lets be honest....its not the same. he doesnt have to be invested in me or my feelings, and often time doesnt even humor me. but i know he is stressed.
we maintain a good relationship, im pleased with it. though he is "seeing" someone else right now, and i am doing my thing, we do pretty decently. he isnt the same person he used to be, and i wish i could read him better and i truly wish we could just maintain being best friends. but its not gonna happen. no matter how hard i try.
this sunday we get a break, taking jude to the blazer game vs the clippers. one of our favorite family past times. :]
he has had a rough week: the car, and overdrawing his account my a stupid website taking his money 4x, and then his mainline for plumbing (always feel like im spelling that wrong) backing up and causing flooding and such.
i wish he would talk to me.
im more jealous of the blossoming friendships that he has than anything else.
but ive been having amazing times with my son.
i miss him when he isnt here, though i know he has the greatest dad known to man, i miss him.
while money is still tighter than i want it to be, i said it best when i said
"how blessed am i that all i lack is money?"
story of my life.
and now for some photos because, as a photographer, photos make my world brighter and capture the best memories. :]
this is the reason i get to be a Mahmee.
Mahmee and Judith.
love you boo.
god he makes me so happy.
Big J and Me.
Big J and little back in the day. 3 days old.
little at the blazer game. with Bunny in tow.
Daddy loves his boy.