i wont say its easy.
being "exes" is not easy.
because sometimes i want to slam his head in a car door.
other times i wish he would cuddle me just because he already knows how to make me feel better.
i dont wanna spend the time training another to know me.
but dang it...the easy part is being a good parent....
its so easy to just love our son.
its just not easy to love each other.
after about 5 months his daddy can now say "i love you" in a platonic way without worrying im going to fall madly in love with him again. it feels good that he can say those words.
after we split, immediately he transformed into "dexter morgan" minus the serial killing. he became emotionless, void, empty of feelings.
he wouldnt say he loved me even as a person.
but he is there for me. i try to be there for him as much as he lets me.
i hate letting him call the shots on our friendship. but at least there is one to try and salvage.
we are doing so good for Julians sake.
you can read Julians blog here:
www.dear-julian.blogspot.com
ive been working that one since shortly after Jude was born.
sometimes i really just miss being a family.
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