whilst he sleeps

thinking of my boy.

i picked him up from his dads today and took daddy to work so we could spend time as a family.

i half expected Julian to run into my arms and give me a big grin. thats a lie. i really wanted it to happen.

instead. he looked at me like i had just been in the bathroom for the past 3 days and turned back to dora.

sigh.

i know it'll get easier for me one of these days. but i really hoped he had missed me as much as i missed him.

it was 3 days. i was MISERABLE.

i get him from today, Tuesday until Sunday. I start a new job next week and havent foud a daycare, so his dad is taking him all next week while i arrange it.

a whole week without my son.

this SUCKS.

regardless, all is right in my world, which sucks that it has to become topsy turvy for J's daddy at the same time.

but J, who hadnt taken a nap, is sleeping peacefully in his new toddler bed.

im giving it to him. he is tuckered out. his diaper likely needs to eb changed, but i wont try to do it while he sleeps until another 20 mins when he is for sure sound asleep. we hadnt much luck in the new toddler bed dept. and this is only the first time he has slept i it. (thak you craigslist for 40$!)

moms know the value of a nap. you learn your child.

you know the drill. the "ill flush it later because its still too early in the nap to make noise" or the "il have to try to clean after he is REALLY asleep" or the "lift the lid on the washer until he wakes and then close it to complete the cycle" or maybe "shut up foundation, can you not settle in until he is asleep please?"

so i silently curse each sound in this new house.

i feel at home.

but i really wanna wake my kid up to play.

that or sleep.

but i know if i do that ill just forget to actually flush the toilet or restart the washer :]